As hard as divorce will be for you, it is often even more difficult for your children. Kids feel a lot of intense emotions when their parents divorce, ranging from guilt to anger. As a parent, the decisions that you make during the divorce can have a significant impact on how hard the divorce is for your family.
No matter how angry you are at your ex, you likely both want what is best for your children. Agreeing to work together during and after the divorce can help protect your children. The sooner you find common ground, the easier it will be for you to co-parent.
Stop looking at your ex as a failed spouse and instead see a striving parent
However strong your feelings might be about your ex’s behavior during your marriage, try not to focus on your feelings about them. Now that you have already made the decision to divorce, your relationship needs to take a backseat to the relationship that each of you has with the children.
Look at your ex not as a spouse who disappointed you but rather as a parent trying their best for your children. Shifting your perspective on the relationship can make it easier to keep your interactions focused on your kids.
Working together now makes divorce and co-parenting easier
What if instead of fighting over every little thing in your divorce, you agreed to work things out before you go to court?
Direct negotiations or even professional mediation services can help you overcome disagreements about custody terms and other issues for your divorce. This approach is beneficial because it allows for a faster and more private uncontested divorce filing. Less time in court means spending less money as well.
Additionally, sitting down to negotiate those parenting terms together can help you establish a new rapport and a basis for a friendly co-parenting relationship in the future. Still, even if you plan to handle things outside of court, you will need your own legal representation to make sure that you don’t get taken advantage of or make mistakes that could complicate your divorce.