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Law Office of Lily L. Huang

More Than A Decade Of Family Law Experience

Knowing when it’s time to stop fighting for your marriage

During your wedding vows, you typically promise to stay and work with your new spouse regardless of what complications life throws at you. Those vows may come from a place of good intentions, but the truth is that many people grow apart in ways that sheer force of will cannot overcome.

Working for your marriage, including evaluating your behavior, readjusting your priorities and even going to counseling together can be a positive step for a couple struggling with their marriage.

However, there are certain scenarios where an evaluation of the circumstances will make it clear that the marriage isn’t likely salvageable. What are the commonly accepted warning signs that the end of the marriage is likely near?

You fight but never resolve anything

It is normal and even healthy for couples to have arguments and confrontations throughout the course of their relationship. When one partner expresses disappointment or frustration with the other, they can potentially engage in a conversation about the expectations and responsibilities of the relationship.

Fights can actually make a couple stronger and help them be better partners for one another. However, when you just fight about the same things all the time and no one changes their behavior, that could be a sign of deep-seated incompatibility.

You don’t fight anymore because you’re not emotionally attached

When one person in a relationship emotionally detaches or when both people do it to each other, it can be difficult for them to reconnect. If you have reached a point in your relationship where you don’t even rile each other up anymore and you see no point in fighting, that might be a sign that you have accepted the unhappiness in your marriage as inevitable.

You or your spouse want to get ready for the single life

Have you started paying more attention to your appearance and wondering if people find you attractive? Has your spouse started buying nicer clothing or exercising more in a way that makes you believe they might be thinking about other romantic opportunities?

One of the many ways people start to get ready for the end of a marriage is by getting ready to look for a partner. This can include taking more time to care for their physical appearance than they have during the marriage.

Additionally, reading up about dating sites, reviewing the divorce process and even making financial or living arrangements for during and after a divorce are all red flags that a separation and divorce are likely for your marriage. Accepting the likelihood of a divorce can be the first step toward a fast and mutually agreeable amicable divorce.