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Law Office of Lily L. Huang

More Than A Decade Of Family Law Experience

Seeking parameters for an amicable divorce

Other than the fact that the two of you are certain that you no longer want to remain married to one another, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse appear to be on the same page with all your child custody plans. Is it even necessary to formally address some of the minutiae of your child custody arrangements?

In most cases, yes, it is. After all, just because you and your ex are in theoretical agreement right now about alternating holidays for your 4-year-old, how will you feel during the winter holidays when your child wakes up to Santa’s visit without you there to share in their joy?

Also, formally addressing these matters now doesn’t mean that your agreement can’t be tweaked later to reflect the circumstances your family faces. If you have extended family coming in for a reunion, you can always ask your ex to swap custody weekends to give the kids a chance to reunite with cousins and grandparents.

But should a real problem develop, e.g., your ex wants to move to Albuquerque and take the kids, with a formal agreement in place you can cite the court order prohibiting moving out of the court’s jurisdiction as a reason to veto that plan.

Court orders can be modified if the co-parents decide they need to revisit a pressing issue they can’t amicably resolve. But with a valid order in place, it makes it difficult for a parent to move with the kids with no repercussions. Remember, too, that just because you seem to be on the same page now doesn’t mean that you will always see eye to eye on parenting decisions.

Addressing your concerns with a San Jose family law attorney can prevent these issues from cropping up later.