There are many reasons why marriages fail, but probably the No. 1 reason couples give for staying together long after love has left the building is for the sake of the children. Some parents are sure that having their kids grow up in a house with both their parents present is preferable to their becoming children of divorce.
There is no right or wrong answer to that dilemma. Certainly, kids do not thrive living with parents who constantly fight wth one another and engage in icy stand-offs. But plenty of parents learn how to remain together in the relationship once the romantic part of their lives together has ended.
These parenting marriages are often quite successful if both spouses remain on the same page with their goals for the marriage. They may want to continue reaping the financial benefits of being part of a two-parent household. They are glad that they get to see their children daily and sit down to dinner as a family every night. Neither parent has any illusions about rekindling their intimate relationship with the other but they are able to coexist civilly, much like a pair of good platonic friends.
Parenting marriages are definitely not for everyone, though. If one spouse still has romantic feelings for the other when that spouse’s romantic interest is nil, it can be a form of torture to live in close proximity with the uninterested spouse. Then, too, one or both spouses may wind up meeting and falling for another partner. How will that relationship be integrated into the parenting marriage? It’s likely that it won’t.
Learning more about parenting marriages can help you decide whether to try it out yourselves or whether to move ahead and file for an amicable divorce in the San Jose family law courts.