Law Office of Lily L. Huang
More Than A Decade Of Family Law Experience

What can you do to maintain amicability during your divorce?

Antagonism toward your spouse during a San Jose divorce proceeding is unnecessary and often counterproductive. It can be to everyone's advantage, including your children's, maintain civility between you and your spouse.

However, this is not always easy to accomplish. The Huffington Post outlines some tips for divorcing amicably. 

1. Consider a peaceful process

When it comes to how to divorce, there are many options available to you. Spend some time researching the options and choose which is likely to work best and preserve peace. Some methods derive from alternative dispute resolution in which the goal is to reach consensus and minimize argument. Litigation, on the other hand, can be quite competitive and antagonistic.

2. Choose your battles wisely

Before you discuss provisions with your spouse, figure out what is most important to you. Differentiate between needs and wants. This will help to keep the negotiations more peaceful because you will be more focused. The overall goal is to avoid fighting if at all possible, but if you have to go to war with your spouse, make sure it is over something worth fighting for. 

3. Look at the big picture

Keep in mind the far-reaching consequences of your decisions. You and your spouse are not the only ones who will have to live with them; your children will too. Think about how your decisions today will affect them tomorrow.

4. Take ownership of your shortcomings

It is difficult to admit that you bear some responsibility for the failure of the relationship. It is much easier to place the blame entirely on the other person's shoulders. However, that is unlikely to keep communications open between you and your spouse. Take an honest look at yourself and own your mistakes. 

5. Find support

Whether it comes from family and friends or a professional counselor, you should not try to work through your feelings related to the divorce alone. Learning to deal with these feelings in a constructive way can help you become calm and centered in your approach to the divorce. 

The information in this article is not intended as legal advice but provided for educational purposes only.

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