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How can I make my divorce amicable?

Divorces, unfortunately, do not always bring out the best in California couples. Anger, fear and grief are common when a marriage is in the process of being dissolved. Sometimes these emotions make the divorce a contentious process for all involved. However, it does not have to be this way. The American Psychological Association spells out strategies that couples can use to reach a more amicable divorce.

One way to handle a divorce is to pursue mediation. Sometimes it helps to have an outsider help you work through your problems. For one thing, if you try to work out the divorce yourself, you may end up causing the very problems that contributed to the divorce in the first place to resurface and interfere with possible solutions. On the other hand, opting for a court proceeding can take a lot of control out of your hands. Divorce mediation, since it grants you greater control over divorce solutions while allowing for an outside party to work with you, can offer greater benefits for the spouses and the children involved.

The emotional turmoil of divorce can also affect how you recall crucial details or make decisions. People at emotional highs will often not think clearly. The APA recommends that you try to calm down and pick a time when your feelings are not running high. Then, write a list of everything you want to discuss with your imminently former spouse. Having a document to work from can drain some of the emotion from a conversation with your spouse. Sometimes it may be easier to communicate over email if in-person talking is too hard.

Additionally, seeking opportunities to converse with your divorcing spouse can be beneficial. While it can be emotionally painful to speak to someone you are divorcing, you are also promoting cooperation by doing so. It can also make the divorce a healthier process for you, your spouse and your children. But you don’t have to deal with it alone. The APA article recommends speaking with a psychologist to defuse spousal conflict.

The purpose of this article is to educate the reader on the topic of amicable divorce and is not to be taken as legal advice.